We’re too much alike!
Words: Desmond “Neo” Childs
As I’ve grown into a young man there has not been anything more complicated or convoluted to me than ‘love’. Love, or at least society’s version of it, has evolved quite a bit over the generations. I feel like people dated with the intention of not just finding someone to be with physically, but to bond with them on an otherworldly level. When people date one another they’re seeking companionship–and these days it doesn’t necessarily have to be with someone from the opposite sex. At any rate, some where down the line, the idea of what ‘love’ is, and what we as a society think it is became misconstrued.
Case in point?
This Man-dae Bong directed film about two people seeking ‘companionship’. Shin-ah is introduced as a woman with a penchant for being “restless”. One minute she’s wining and dining with her boyfriend and the next, she’s sleeping with a stranger she met in a bar. The stranger turns out to be Dong-gi and the two later began a relationship. The interesting thing about the relationship, at least to me–it was a ‘romantic’ relationship built on a foundation of sex. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t date a one-night stand?”
I think the director along with writer Jeong-deok Kwak, were trying to speak on the condition of our society when it comes to ‘Love’. I may be reading too much into it, but I do like to dig deeper when it comes to subject material like this. And so I truly believe that the message this film is trying to send–is that there are way too many people who overrate the importance of sex in relationships. The old folks would tell us to wait until we get married before having sex, and I believe there’s something to that.
In my humble opinion, sex is a bonding of the mind, body, and spirit–which means to meetup with a stranger and have sex with them would be creating an attachment that goes far beyond a physical one. Although some people have conditioned themselves to disregard this attachment in favor of the sexual pleasure that comes from sleeping around with multiple partners; the original attachment remains Which means that there is likely to be a mutual attraction if the two people were to meetup again. However, the sexual attraction that Shin-ah and Dong-gi have for each other isn’t enough to support their relationship. They were so focused on trying out new sex positions or finding new places to ‘bang’, that the other more crucial aspects of being in a relationship were cast aside. As a result, when the two got into arguments or were going through rough patches–they seemed to only be able to have sex as a way to cope. The characters eventually stop interacting on any real level other than to have sex, and so any attempt they make outside of that fails.
I’ll admit, the love scenes at the beginning of the movie were quite steamy and candid–the two lovers were infatuated and were beginning to explore the depths of their sexual attraction to one another. But as the movie went on, and the two began to learn more about one another–they could barely be in the same room with one another at times. Of course the movie depicts this ‘growing apart’ in a much more subtle way than I’m letting on, but it’s pretty obvious the ‘love’ these two people think they share is merely the love they both have for pleasure. The movie’s happiest moments with Shin-ah and Dong-gi always involved them getting some sort of pleasure (not just sexual) out of the experience. So the ending, which contrasted the beginning save for the breaking up sequence–wasn’t a shock to me, nor will it be to you. The biggest thing I got from this movie was something I myself already believed to be true about ‘love’ or society’s depiction of what ‘love’ is. But first, let me ask you something–Where does sex rank in terms of what you are looking for in a person? I don’t want to be judgmental in voicing my opinion, but are you the type that weigh something like “being great in bed” ahead of something like “has a job” or “likes to read?”. If so, you may be in a relationship that has a foundation built on sex; and if that’s the case–this movie should serve as a cautionary tale to you and that person you love.
If you’ve seen Sweet Sex and Love and agree or disagree, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
All images used have been taken from google.com and I do not own any of them.